A boy and his…balls

Kelsey, Especially

Don’t let this angelic photo fool you. This kid is…something else.

It all started a couple months ago when Madden developed what I feel like is a common little boy behavior: obsessing over “the biggest” everything. The BIGGEST serving of dinner. The BIGGEST cup of juice. The BIGGEST piece of paper to color on. It was a totally cute, super benign obsession until that one time – pre-pottytraining (so about 6 weeks ago) – when I was changing his diaper and he looked right at me as he shoved his hands between his legs and exclaimed, “Look at my BIG privates, mommy!”

::blank stare::

Cue a nervous + hearty laugh. Because I mean LOL, right? Right. But only after a quick WTF first.

Since then, Madden has developed a full-fledged obsession with potty humor and his privates. Typical boy, right?

::rolls eyes::

After the initial “Look at my BIG privates, Mommy!” incident, RJ took Madden into the backyard to pee on the fence. Because obviously that’s what a proud father is supposed to do. I’ll give you one guess where this is headed. After only one time of pissing outdoors, Madden’s innate propensity for this manly act was activated. The following week, he got in trouble three times – TWICE in one day! – at school for “watering the fence” in the play yard during recess. I was mortified. RJ was amused.

Then, sometime soon afterward, RJ taught Madden what his “balls” are. So now Madden walks around talking about his “BIG balls”. His favorite method of mentioning them is to drop the phrase into songs. So like, instead of singing “Twinkle, twinkle, little star,” he’ll bust out with, “Twinkle, twinkle, Madden’s big balls,” and then burst into a fit of laughter. He also likes to walk around grabbing them and swinging them. Especially when he’s fresh out of the bath (see also: naked). Because that’s when such behavior is most appropriate. Duh.

I’m not going to lie – it’s cute and hilarious. But only at home. Every day I’m worried that when I pick the kids up from school I’m going to be pulled into the office and talked to about his inappropriate behavior. After all, we’re talking about the kid who has already dropped trou during recess to piss on the fence (and once on the kids’ play house); who runs around talking about, grabbing, and swinging his BIG balls; and who had to sit out the first few trips to the neighborhood pool over the summer because he refused to get in the water unless we let him take everything – and I mean everything – off. Not that I have an issue with Madden free-ballin’ at home in the bathtub. But at the neighborhood pool? Sanity issues aside, I’m pretty sure there are laws against that…

This little boy is something else, guys. And he’s only two. I can only imagine what the next 16 years with him living under my roof will bring, when he’s walking around making poop jokes and grabbin’ his jock before he’s learned how to tie his own shoes or button his own pants.

I’m not sure that I’m prepared for this, guys. It’s like I’m raising a two-year old version of my potty-humor-and-piss-outside-loving Dad. Talk about a recipe for comedic disaster…

Project Life 2014 | Week 38

There’s something like nine weeks left in the year, guys. WUT. When did that happen? Where did 2014 go?!

I haven’t had much (any) time to do anything creative ever since school started a month ago. And now that my course load officially doubled yesterday, I’m going to even have less time to do anything creative. Even so, I set aside a couple hours last weekend to knock out a “past-due” layout. I was stoked with how quickly and seamlessly it came together. Hope you guys enjoy, because I’m not sure when the next PL post will happen!

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

WEEK OF | September 15 – 21

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK | Lots of normalcy around here this week. WODs, Homeland, Netflix movies, a Sunday afternoon bike-riding at the playground. You know. The usual.

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

The biggest thing that happened was Madden got some new big boy undies over the weekend!

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

Clearly he’s in love with them. (HOW EFFING CUTE IS HE?!)

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

ANYTHING SPECIAL THIS WEEK | Nothing out of the ordinary this week. Except the part where I got sick. But I don’t consider that “special”…

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

TECHNIQUES USED THIS WEEK |  Nothing fancy. A Studio Calico filler card (“hey there handsome), a piece of paper with gold dots sized down to 3×4, gold stickers (“big things poppin'”) on top of the page protector. And some journaling.

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

OVERALL THOUGHTS | Pretty in love with it; the golds, white, pinks/reds, and pops of blues is basically the best. And pretty in love with the fact that it came together – from conceptualization to design to printing and photographing – in just a couple of hours. That’s unheard of around here.

Project Life 2014 Week 38 // Kelsey, Especially

SUPPLIES USED | PL Photo Pocket Pages Design APaislee Press Week In Review CardsPaislee Press Pictures & Words No. 9Caylee Grey handwritten weekly title card.


:: 2013
:: 2014

Doubling up with a month to go

My brain has too many tabs open // Kelsey, Especialyly

Hey, guys! Happy Monday! Is that a thing? Are Monday’s happy? I think that’s an oxymoron. Oh, well. Whatever.

I’ve been MIA around here, I know. But in my defense, I did warn y’all that I might not be around much through the end of the year. Even still, I thought I’d be able to post more than I have been. Soooo. Sorry! I’m not short on ideas, I promise. I’m short on time. And I’m about to be even shorter on it…

My second set of classes officially begin today. In other words, starting today I’m officially doubling up my course load and will be taking 6 three-credit courses simultaneously. That’s 18 credits for those of you who suck at math (me!). And that, for those of you who suck at putting two-and-two together (no hard feelings, after all it is Monday), is a full-time-and-a-half course load. On top of work. And the Army. And girlfriending. And parenting. And CrossFit. And blogging. And memorykeeping. And sometimes eating and sleeping and catching up on Homeland. Shoot. Me. Now.

The way my school works is like this:

The school year is split into two 16-week long semesters – fall and spring. Each of those semesters is broken down even further into 4 eight-week long sessions, with start dates staggered at four week intervals. So like, Week 4 of Session 1 is Week 1 of Session 2; Week 8 of Session 1 is Week 4 of Session 2, which is also Week 1 of Session 3. And so on and so forth. (The only way to take classes during more than one session and have them not overlap is to take some classes during Session 1 and some during Session 4.)

Last semester I took a similar course load – credit-wise, at least – but was able to space out all of my courses over all four sessions within the semester. This time, though, I wasn’t so lucky. Sequestration (GAG! I can’t believe I said that here…) meant no funding for Army tuition assistance during FY 2014, and a delay in filing my taxes for 2013 that equated to a delayed federal aid award. Blah blah blah. Long story short, I was lucky to even begin taking classes this semester, getting in just under the wire. But getting in just under the wire meant cramming my course load into two back-to-back eight-week long sessions.

So Week 1 of my three new classes begins today, but this week also marks mid-terms for the original set of three courses I started four weeks ago. And finals week for the three classes I’ve been in for the last month will overlap with mid-terms week for the three classes that start today. And that week – midterms week for three classes and finals week for three more classes – is the same week my GRE test date is scheduled. One month to go until the most important test of my life (seriously, my GRE score will determine my graduate study path), and I’m about to have negative free/study time. Oh, joy.

It’s a lot, I’m the first to admit. My brain feels like it’s broken most of the time, but I’m somehow managing to stay afloat. So far. Check back in a week or so, once both sets of classes are in full swing.

The current semester ends 11 days before Christmas, and then I’ll have a month-long break before spring semester begins. Once January 12 rolls around I’ll start my last 5 courses as an undergrad, split between sessions that aren’t back-to-back, of course! And after that? After that, it’s right back to school in the fall. BIG DREAMS, PEOPLE. And you bet your ass I’m chasing after them.


Wondering what I’m taking this semester? At the end of this week I’ll be halfway through Neurobiology, The Biological Basis of Human Behavior, and Psychology of Human Sexuality. My classes that begin today are Advanced Study of Women in the Military, Domestic Violence, and Memory & Cognition.

IMAGE | via

Third time was NOT the charm

Army Ten Miler // Kelsey, Especially

…but it wasn’t the end of the world, either.

I’m finally back home after spending the last 5 days at a work event. The event is one my employer holds every year, and every year it kicks off with the Army Ten Miler on an October Sunday morning. This year, the race was last Sunday. And this year – my third time running it – I got to run it alongside Shannon instead of all my by lonesome. YAY! (The only race we’ve run together before this was a 5K a few months back.)

We were aiming to finish the race within 90 minutes, but it seems like that was a little optimistic because, uh, it didn’t happen. WOMP. Prior to last weekend, Shannon had never run more that 3 consecutive miles, and I didn’t train for this year’s race at all. Not to mention: I’m old. And that means I’m slow. Still, I’d wanted my third time running this race to be my best time. Oh, well.

Army Ten Miler // Kelsey, Especially

As I’ve gotten older and essentially become a senior citizen over the past few years, my short(-ish) distance running has improved while my long(-er) distance running has not. Since 2011 – the first year I ran the Army Ten Miler – I’ve gone from running a 15-ish minute 2-mile to running a 14-ish minute 2-mile to, most recently (as in two weeks ago), running a sub-13:30 2-mile (13:28 to be exact, thankyouverymuch).

Over that same stretch of time, my 10-mile time has gone from 1:29:31 (at 4-months pregnant no less) in 2011 to 1:36:55 in 2012 to 1:46:39 this year (I didn’t run the race in 2013). Basically, over the past three years I’ve gone from being able to sustain a 9-minute mile pace for 10 miles (without walking/stopping, and while 4 months pregnant) to taking multiple walking breaks and finishing with an almost 11-minute mile pace. Gross. Although to be fair, I trained hardcore for the first ten miler in 2011, a little less hardcore in 2012, and then not at all this year. C’est la vie, I guess.

At our 5-mile split we were on pace to finish within our 90-minute goal time, but miles 7 through 10 of that course are a total mindfuck and we ended up walking for about a mile-and-a-half of the last few miles of the course. Whatever. Not ideal BUT we finished. And we’re already planning our race schedule for 2015. I think that for the most part we’re going to stick with shorter runs – local 5Ks and 10Ks – but we’re also looking at a half-marathon and, of course, the 2015 Army Ten Miler. And next year we’ll definitely train for it so we can finish within our 90-minute goal time.

Army Ten Miler // Kelsey, Especially

For those of you unfamiliar with the Army Ten Miler, here are a few facts about it:

> It starts and stops in the Pentagon parking lot.

> It’s capped at 35,000 runners. Most of those runners are affiliated with the Army.

> The course weaves through some of DC’s most recognizable spots: around Arlington National Cemetery, past the Lincoln, up Constitution Ave, past the Watergate complexes and the Kennedy Center, down Independence Ave, and back over the 14th Street Bridge.

> Every few miles there are water + gatorade stations manned by soldiers from the Old Guard.

> Factions of the Army Band play at different points along the route. Different high school bands also set-up shop and play along the route.

> The peripheral of the course is packed full of local residents and supporters.

> Good American citizens who have the right idea are also set-up along the route distributing to runners mini cups of beer instead of lame-ass water + gatorade ;)

> It sucks and rocks all at the same time. You should run it with us next year!

Project Life 2014 | Week 37 + a freebie

Holy crap, a Project Life post. I’m so behind. Not like “I have it all done and just haven’t published any posts yet” behind. Like, “I haven’t even started designing layouts for weeks 38 – 41″ behind. And considering I’m right in the thick of the semester, and about to be “out of town” for the next 5-ish days for work, there ain’t gonna be any real progress on my PL album for a minute. So enjoy this post, guys. Because I don’t foresee a similar one in the near future…

Week 37 // Kelsey, Especially

WEEK OF | September 8 – 15

Week 37 // Kelsey, Especially

WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK |  Shannon left for LA for the week for work. BLAH. Madden’s class started Show & Tell and he got to bring his first-ever S&T item. We were a week late in being notified so he started with letter B and brought a “baby baseball bat”. He was very excited to be able to finally participate in a “big kid” thing like Show & Tell.

Week 37 // Kelsey, Especially

ANYTHING SPECIAL THIS WEEK |  WE GOT BUMPER PLATES!!! After Shannon’s team competition in Baltimore on Saturday, we dropped by the sporting goods store just for fun (yes, that’s our idea of fun) and ended up going halfsies on some bumper plates for our barbell. FINALLY! We now have 2 sets of 10s and a set of 25s, as well as a set of 5s. So. Awesome. 

Week 37 // Kelsey, Especially

TECHNIQUES USED THIS WEEK | Exactly zero new techniques. Just lots of journaling. And I guess my handwritten “i love you card” (also used in Week 33), which you can download HERE (and grab the version without the border around the phrase HERE).

Week 37 // Kelsey, Especially

OVERALL THOUGHTS | Meh. Not the best, not the worst.

Week 37 // Kelsey, Especially

SUPPLIES USED | PL Photo Pocket Pages Design APaislee Press Week In Review CardsPaislee Press Pictures & Words No. 9Caylee Grey handwritten weekly title card; Big City Quiet “READ MORE BOOKS” card; my own handwritten “i love you” card, available HERE (and without the box around the phrase HERE).


:: 2013
:: 2014

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